I'm guessing that most of you met via an internet site such as Asia Friendfinder. Just curious and I would like to know how successful your experience was (whether internet or agency or via friends).
I'm certain a few of us learnt some hard lessons on the way or have heard some horror stories (from both sides by the way).

Barrie

Hi Barrie, Like most of the other guys here, I was not happy with the local women I have met and have had short term affairs with, once you get them into bed they think that they own you and want to re arrange your life, house and everything else, most of them having been married before now think that they deserve to be pampered, dined and wined, never get their manicured nails dirty and provided with free transport....So the search goes to the internet and rumour has it that Chinese women make excellent wives, they are not too demanding, have old time traditional values and appreciate the affection they are given as this is lacking in their lives.
Simple.....Join one of the dating agencies, find a nice Chinese woman, try and talk to her for a month or two, go to China, marry her and then bring her home and live happily ever after........Ha Ha Ha.... WRONG.....
I think that I spoke to about 20 women (mostly through translators) after about 2 weeks some said that they loved me and wanted to marry me....no thanks, too quick, goodbye. Some asked me for money so that they could go to english classes, when I suggested that the school contact me so I could pay them direct, they said that I did not trust them, I said yes...goodbye. One woman had a different approach, after talking to her for a week she asked me for money so her daughter could learn english so she could teach her in turn....goodbye..
Then there have been the ones that present a studio picture of a beautiful woman, only to find out that it was taken many, many years before. (my wife has been asked for her picture so a relative can post it on an agency site and try to pass it off as herself...no comparison)
THEN I met my wife........although we had to talk through a translator I knew she was different, she did not ask for money, she did not pressure me for marriage and gradualy introduced me to her family, she rushed from work every evening and ran up the 5 floors to where she could talk to me. After 6 months I found out that her sister was paying for her translator and internet costs and I suggested that I send her some money each month to pay for this instead of her sister, she was very appreciative and reluctintly accepted this offer, then I suggested that we buy a computer so she could learn to use one and help her with english at home, Ha Ha....many long nights followed just to be able to say a few words and many tears. The first time I went to Nanning was a culture shock, but I knew that she was the woman for me, we were engaged before I left. My wife was a blank slate, so anything I taught her was something new to her, her english rapidly improved with the computer and 10 months later when I went back to marry her we had almost no problems talking to each other. I have found that if you treat the chinese woman with respect, respect her culture, give her as much affection as you can, she will return it and much more than you could hope for..Just be very patient with her as it will take her a while to get used to the western way of life and the way you like things to be done...

Some of your experiences echo mine. I think one of the 'problems' (if you can call it that) is that most of us have had previous marriages and have chosen to look for an asian partner because of the unfortunate greediness of the western women (I understand that this has been debated high up in the USA government). And so we are at an age where we know what we want and don't want to get hurt/exploited again. We obviously want to take our time before making this lifelong commitment but on the other side of the coin, the Chinese ladies sometimes have trouble understanding our slower approach!!
Glad you got there in the end!

I found that after being divorced in 1999 life was very peaceful,then i tried the dating scene,no luck as such,all the women that i met said the same as what i wanted,long term commitment,grow old with someone and enjoy life,but,there is always a but,after you spent time wineing and dining them,and maybe even bedding them, they wanted to take over your life.
Then one late summer day i was invited to a friends house for dinner,look if its a freebie and no washing up i'll go anywhere,and met my future wife,she'd been in England for 2 years and worked,lived and played within the Chinese community and didn't now a word of English,but using a computer translator i found someone who i could have a laugh with,so she came to my place to look it/me over....and stayed,we went back to Nanning in 2006 and met her family and got married,life has had its ups and downs but to me she is worth a million pounds and she is still learning English,my Chinese is about 10 words.I must admit that the first time i went to Nanning i was scared,of meeting her family/friends but everyone has been good to me and treated me like son and nobody has asked me for money.

Well considering this is my first try and having not met my lady yet in person let me explain what has transpired. Yes, we met on a dating board. www.dateinasia.com and I am familiar with the pitfalls and things !! but feel free to take your shots. I am experienced as I have dated in Philippines for years just havent found the one.. Traveled there many times and actually lived there for three years..

I met my lady Wen who is 43 speaks wonderful english and has a computer in her home. She is what she presented online and looks just like her pictures altho they are staged. I see her online and hear her as we chat on the internet. She works in Nanning at a bank and lives with her parents. Never has been married and never any kids. She is absolutley beautiful and making me wonder WHY she hasnt been snatched up.

I am not jumping onto an airplane tomorrow as I want to continue getting to know her for a few months. Anything you guys have in mind as a way of shaking info out relative to her situation would be appreciated. She is only the 2nd girl I chatted with off the site and it seems just so perfect.. She is a joy to chat with and there is no language barrier at all. She uses an online dictionary as we chat and I type and talk as we chat.. Its great fun and watching her on the screen is a pure joy.. Am I screwed or what ???LOL!!! be talking to you guys for sure.. Charles

Well for a start she will not be making a lot of money, not many do in China. I know of a Chinese heart specialist that was being paid 2100 rmb a month. So there is your sliding scale for a bank clerk. If she is living with her parents and they are retired they may be getting a pension (small one) from a fund they paid into during their working lives, but she will still be expected to help out where possible, the younger look after the aged parents. Basically any other information you will have to get by asking her, and in a couple of emails later ask it again but in a different way, same answer no problem! Even if they can speak English or translate it they do not comphrend it fully so you can do this with a certain degree of accuracy.
Oh and not many of the girls in Nanning city own water buffalo's so it shouldn't get sick

Hi Barrie,
I registered with Skype so I could make cheap internet phone calls to relatives in New Zealand. I had barely registered when a Chinese woman sent me a message introducing herself. She had a friend who had met an American, married and moved to Texas. The friend had then recommended registering on Skype where you can get a list of people in a particular town, country, age and sex. And find which ones are open to getting calls.
I was not looking for another relationship as I was still trying to divorce my previous wife at the time.
The Chinese woman sent me some photos and, once I was divorced I sent her my divorce certificate. I bought a webcam and we chatted on Yahoo messenger daily. I arranged to visit Nanning 6 months after she had introduced herself but by the time the visit came up we had agreed to get married.
She used an electronic translator and attended English evening classes twice a week in Nanning.
As a test I suggested that instead of her coming to live in UK after we were married, I should go and live with her in China. I said that I could not work in China but that she would have to continue to work to support us and her son. She agreed to this and even said that her dad would buy us an apartment in Nanning. Later I discovered that she did not earn enough to support herself and her son and that she intended that we should live with her parents...
It is now 13 months since we first met on the internet. We have been married since September. Her son is arriving in a couple of weeks. I am the happiest I have been since I met my first wife in 1971. We have had some arguements and lots of misunderstandings but nothing too serious and making up after an arguement is great fun.....
She has enriched my life sooooo much. Nothing is too much trouble to her. And whenever I say thank you for her doing something (which is very frquently) she just says she does everything because I am her husband.
Now we are arranging to buy a house on Liusha Road in Nanning and intend moving semipermanently to Nanning in 3 years when I retire.
David

I haven't heard of www.dateinasia.com before and as for using skype - nice one. I might give it a try! Perhaps I've just been unlucky and have been turned over a couple of times.
Thanks

Hi Barrie,
I met my wife on Cherry Blossoms, I was bombarded with new emails everyday from different women on that site. (good for the ego). When I met my wife we started echanging emails everyday, within three weeks she was telling me she loved me and wanted me to come to China to see her. I was dazzled by her pictures and attitude, she didn't care if I was rich or poor or that I was 13 years older than her. I told her the only way I was coming to China is if I knew I was getting married. She immediately told me she would marry me. I was wondering if I was being scammed so I started asking more difficult questions and telling just how poor I really was. She was honest and forthcoming, we continued to exchange emails for three months when I decided to fly to Nanning. I arrived in China and we were married within three weeks. After spending a year apart because of immigration issues we have been living together in Canada for 11 months now. She went from a tropical climate to the frozen north of Canada. We couldn't be happier, she takes english lessons for two hours a day, she got a job in the local Chinese restaurant and we are planning a return visit next January to Nanning and Beijing.
Jim

Jim
Thats such good news and I'm very happy for you both!

Hi everyone. I met Xinyi on Hearts of Asia. She is very beautiful and is doing ok in the english department. She does have a pocket translator for some harder words but for th emost part we can talk without it.

We have been lucky, she has internet in her apartment, and her own computer so we can chat everyday, and cam as well.

Money has never come up in a conversation other then when I asked about the cost fo living, so I could get a feel for it.

I have talked to many Philippino women and they start right from the beginning with how por they are it really got me down. I understand most are but it isnt something that should be discussed every conversation over and over.

I will visit my luv in September and hopefully she will be the one for me. I find it hard to say I love you after only talking through internet, but I think once we meet it will be hard not to.

I wish everyone eklse good luck in there quest as well.

Good luck to you Thomas
Dave and Wu Ming

I met my wife 6 years ago on AFF. I had been divorced for about 10 years and I got this spam email from AFF. I figured what the hell and posted a profile. I was deluged with messages from Chinese women. I talked with a few but it seemed that most of them were either looking for wealthy men or professed undieing love after a couple of emails. One day I got a message that I could tell after reading it was directed at me, not a blanket letter sent to 100 different men. The photo on her profile was a home photo not a glamour shot. We started writing one another and after a year I finally went to Nanning to meet her. I knew as soon as I got off the plane and saw her waiting for me at the airport that she was the one. We spent 2 glorious weeks together exploring Nanning and Guilin then I went home and filed the I-129F. A year later she got her visa and came here to Portland Oregon where we were married. We just celebrated our 4th aniversary and while we have our ups and downs like any other couple things are still going strong. There is no one else in the world I would rather be married to.

Hi guys try using AsianEuro.com
very good
thats were I found Li and we have been talking every day.
seems a good site
check it out
Robert

Hello all,

I met my lady on Chinesekisses.com Like many of you, I had my troubles weeding out the scammers from the honest ones. Anytime one mentioned $$ for whatever reason, I conviently forgot their email. Yes, the best way to go about it in my opinion is three-fold

1. try and avoid translation companies
2. both get a webcam see if they match photos
3. Communicate everyday, ask questions

Best wishes,
Steve

I think most dating sites are the same but recently I found WWW.ASIANPROMISE.COM. They have some useful tips of what to look out for. Aviod dating agencies, they are unethical and praying on everyone involved. I'm happy for all of you who have found the right person. Good luck, Don

I met my girlfriend on myforeignbride.com (Its always good to be cautious on these sites though) We speak on skype every day and I have been to China on two occasions to see her. The second time over I stayed with her family it was really great. I am going back for three weeks in November as we are getting married. She is from Foshan and she is fantastic!! So is the country. Hope to live there eventually. Nanning looks beautiful and hope to visit on one of my trips.

Trys

Hey dude; Meet my new friend on line and boy have we had trouble That is talking with each other but it is getting better so dont worry if you really like her and she like you it will work out I like my new friend because she only has told me she like me a lot and not tried to be too crazy about the love thing yet I plan to meet her late october good luck

len